How is Trenton?
I apologize that I have not had an update lately. Life has been chaotic and as most of you know, blogging comes last.
This year in general has been a very rough year for Trenton. He has declined a lot in many areas but has made some gains in other areas.
His big decline is in his behavior. The last week in October he quit going to public school. I only had him going to public school for 2.5 hours each morning anyway. However, after lots of data to support the fact that Trenton is not a public school kid, the school system started funding him to go to Harsha Autism Center. He already had been going to Harsha the last four years as an insurance kid. However, Harsha Autism Center is the next step which is considered an alternative placement for kids with severe needs.
So, how is he doing with just going to Harsha all day?
He is about the same. There is no progress in his behaviors but I expected this. He has been at Harsha for four years. Trenton is making progress with his ability to produce words at times but not with his behaviors. It is like his doctor said....he is at a difficult age where he can't get any stronger medicine until he is older. Therefore, we just have to battle through this. However, it is difficult.
Again, this week he broke a computer at home. He continues to display aggressive behavior.
He does have some good days....some bad days....some days where he is good most of the day and he might just have one aggressive outburst....he has days where he has no aggression but is extremely hyper and impulsive...you just never know with Trenton. Even on his hyper and impulsive days he is very dangerous because he isn't aware of danger and gets out of control.
I wake up and I never know what I am going to get. Am I going to get attacked before work? (attack is hitting, scratching, clawing, pulling hair, biting, kicking) Is he going to attack Andrew while I am trying to get ready for work? Is he going to attack us after work/school? What is he going to break today? Will he try to escape again?....the questions are endless... the stress is endless....it is never ending 24/7stress and chaos. He needs someone with him 24/7 and I can't do that nor can I afford that.
My heart breaks daily for Trenton. Living with this daily grief is hard. Watching him so distressed every single day is hard. He struggles. He can't control himself. I would do anything to make his life better.
I love the days where he can smile. Yes, a simple smile can mean the world to me. I know in that moment he is feeling good. He isn't fighting the chaos in his brain....he isn't struggle...he is happy. When he smiles...he has a smile that can light up the world!
So, for now he continues to go to Harsha Autism Center. He continues to work on his ABA program there while also working with me, his special education teacher there.
Its amazing how smart he is academically. He can read words that most first and seconds graders can't read.......but he has no control over his bipolar outburst that makes his autism very challenging.
So, for now we continue to live and do what we need to in order to survive and get through the day.
In the picture below he is working at Harsha Autism Center.