Thursday, October 31, 2013

Halloween

Special days like today is very hard on us as a family. When I became a mother I dreamed of taking my kids trick or treating like I did when I grew up. Instead, Halloween is on my list of days I HATE!!!!!!!!!! I have cried the past two Halloweens and I was determined NOT to do that this year. I will never forget the Halloween when Trenton was 14 months old. He could have cared less about all the kids in the streets trick or treating. He just wanted to run away, cried going up to everyone's house that we stopped at and fussed non stop. He just wanted to wander away! We went to three  places and after the third, I put him in his car seat, got in the car myself and the tears rolled down myself. The only words I spoke on the way home was, "What is wrong with him?" The next Halloween was deja vu all over again. In 2013 I could not get him in his costume which was an army guy outfit and that was the closest thing to normal clothes that I could have bought for him.( If it is different and not something he would wear everyday, than Trenton will not put it on. He does not understand Halloween.)

 He had a Halloween party at school. His teachers got him in his outfit for a few minutes. He looked so cute. I quickly grabbed my camera and got a picture before he started ripping it off of himself during his snack.
 I wanted a picture of Andrew at least dressed up since we are not trick or treating this year. He wore Elmo for a few  minutes for me.


Autism Every Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4myyJ_nNW0




Autism Parent

autism

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

A normal doctor vist...Not so normal for us

Taking your child to the doctor should be a simple task. One simply puts their child in the carseat, drive to the doctor, tell your child to walk by your side into the doctor office and wait  on the doctor. That is easier said than done to families with a child with autism!

I decided today that Andrew needed to see a doctor. He hasn't slept well in several nights, his cough is awful, off and on temperature, his breathing was becoming very raspy today, and he has simply had one thing after another for almost 7 weeks. The doctor squeezed him in....thank goodness! However, when I heard the nurse say, "Bring him up now." My heart skipped a beat and I thought, " Oh crap! How am I going to do this? I have no one to watch Trenton." Something this simple is almost impossible for us. Nana who always drops what she is doing to help us because she understands and has educated herself enough to know how difficult things in our life are, was not home. She was taking Grandma Great to the doctor in Effingham. Trenton will not stay with just anyone, therefore the three us were attempting a task that we have never done before.
Why would this be so hard? Well.....I simply can't get Trenton out of his car seat and tell him to walk by Mommy's side. Instead he wants to run in the complete opposite direction going as fast as he can. He does not understand the most simple things. He has a brain disorder than interferes with his life.

When we arrived at the doctor my nerves were already shot and I was starting to sweat through my white t shirt that I just noticed had dry snot stains all over it. Great.....that's the story of my life.... not one second to think about myself and what I must look like at three in the afternoon after battling a little boy with autism all day and a sick child. I WAS NERVOUS to say the least!

 I get Andrew out in the stroller, put my diaper bag on my left arm, get Trenton out of his car seat and my death grip stays attached to his arm. We start walking to the front door. I was pushing Andrew in the stroller with one hand, carrying the diaper bag on the opposite shoulder, while holding on to Trenton's hand. Of course, Trenton is trying to pull away and I can only pull back. I'm sure at this point we were already a sight for sore eyes!

Uncle Brian put his job on hold that he was doing and came to help in the waiting room. When we got called back to a room I released him of his duties. The boys and I did fairly well. The nurse was great to help out. the doctor came and examined Andrew and told me that he had a bad ear infection in his left ear and he could hear his raspy breathing. He wanted to give Andrew a breathing treatment. While Andrew was getting his breathing treatment this sent Trenton over the edge. I was holding Andrew down while the nurse was giving him the treatment and Trenton was standing a few feet away crying, breaking out in a hive from being so upset, and no one to try to console him. At this point, I finished sweating through my t-shirt. Mommy could no take it anymore!

After twenty minutes of this we were finally released to go home. I put Andrew in the stroller once again, put the diaper bag on my arm, and had a death grip on Trenton. Once again, we were quite entertaining to everyone while we were leaving. I'm sure everyone was wondering why I had a death grip on a perfectly normal looking boy. If only they knew..............

All in all, we survived. The next task was to go into the pharmacy, I was not attempting this. The boys and I sat in my car outside the pharmacy for approximately 15 minutes until Nana and Grandma Great could meet us so they could sit in my car in order for me to go in to the pharmacy. At this point, Trenton had enough and so did Andrew.  Andrew was sent home on two medicines and breathing treatments. When we arrived home, we had about 30 minutes of calmness until Trenton was going to the door crying for a car ride to calm his body down. Once again, I'm in the car driving. At his point, I felt like someone came in with a stick and beat the life out of me.  I drive my little boy to calm his body down while wondering.......what would a simple normal life be like?

On a good note...Trenton did excellent in therapy.  Therefore, on the way home Mommy got him McDonald's french fries, his favorite! Before I could give him a fry, I see him waving his hand in the air and all of a sudden he says, "fry!" I was so excited!!!! I start going off the road because I was jumping up and down in my seat clapping and cheering for him. I'm sure all the other drivers were wondering who the heck was the lady that has lost her mind, bouncing up and down while driving a car clapping! Only a mom that hears her child's voice so little!
Trenton also said "Bri" today while looking at Uncle Brian when we were in the waiting room! Two spontaneous words in one day! Can't get any better than that!!!!!

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Andrew is Ill Again

Andrew is a sick little boy,,again! He has been nonstop sick since he had hand foot mouth about 6-7 weeks ago. It has been one thing after another. Mommy is getting very worried about him.
I remember when I was a kid, I just wanted my mom when I was sick. Andrew is the exact same way. However, it is very difficult with Trenton for Andrew to get the attention he needs when he is sick. Andrew loves to be cuddled and rocked when he is sick. Tonight, Trenton was hyper and having some sensory issues  and crying a lot. Therefore, poor Little A had to rock by himself and he did not like that. Thank goodness Nana came and helped us.


Progress the last 19 months

March 2012 is when I accepted that something was wrong and different with Trenton. Trenton has been in extensive therapies since April 2012. There are some days I feel like we have not made any strides but in reality we have. In the last 19 months Trenton has made huge strides in being able to go to new places.  I can't tell you how many times we have attempted a store, doctor office, therapy office and many other places similar to these and it was a huge nightmare. We would walk in with Trenton screaming, crying, kicking, throwing himself down on the ground. Our "scene" made people's head turn faster than if they saw Dolly Parton walking down a street in Flora in a skin tight dress. We have came a long way in this area and I have many of thanks to his therapist and our headphones!

Trenton use to not even be able to tolerate Andrew. Now, Trenton tolerates Andrew and has had a few good moments with him. Eighteen months ago we were having a meltdown by just going to Sunday School every morning. Now, he loves Sunday School and School! He is still his moments on some days but he always will, it is just part of the disorder.  Nineteen months ago Trenton screamed and cried during his therapies. Now he loves his therapies and looks forward to them.

A few areas I feel we are not making progress in and it is about to worry me to the max is speech and communication, sleep, and social play with peers.

One of the first signs Trenton learned to do was "more". A few other signs that followed was, "eat, please, thank you, and tree".  Trenton has learned a hand full more through out the year. Does he use them when he wants something or is in a situation to use them? No. Trenton has to be prompted over and over and still at times just stands there and does not communicate. We are only successful on the IPad for communication about 20% of the time. I still use it every day with him and hope that one day it will be used successfully 100% of the time. If Trenton is hungry, he still goes into my kitchen and stands or opens the refrigerator. I ask him, "Are you hungry?" I get no response. Generally I can tell if he really wants something. If he does, I have about two minutes to figure out what it is before the meltdown occurs. Therefore, in the past 19 months our progress is very minimal.
Most three year olds can answer yes/no questions. Trenton's speech therapist have been working on this for over one year. We still have not met this goal. Trenton has no concept of what yes and no mean.

We are no better in sleep now than when he was born. I have a journal that I write in occasionally. I like to look back to what happened a year ago. One year ago I was still driving to calm Trenton down for sleep. I was up in the night from midnight to approximately 4 or 5 in the morning. One year ago he ran wild and was uncontrollable in the night when he was up.  One year ago I was having to call on people to come help me in the evening if Tim was gone. I am still calling on my mom to help me in the evening because on most nights it as if Hurricane Trenton just won't stop until I have someone to help with Andrew so my main focus can be on Trenton. One year ago he was only on melatonin and iron. Unfortunatley, one year later we are still on these  and have tried 4 medicines to get Trenton to sleep and sleep consistently. We have not made any progress in this area whatsoever!

I pray our progress will take off soon and one day he will be talking up a storm. I pray one day he will be tattle telling on Andrew. And guess what???? I will love that tattle telling and I will cherish every minute of it!!!
Hebrews 10:36 - For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Lines & Animals

Here are just two things I love about Trenton and his autism.

First, I love finding his lines everywhere. He got a little creative on this line.
 Two, I love the fact that he loves his stuffed animals. The stuffed animals have to be on his bed because he loves to wallow in them. It is a good sensory break for him.

Trenton's Special Pumpkin

Trenton's special pumpkin!

Sunday

Trenton had a very good on Sunday. I love days with routine and he sure knows his routine on Sundays!
He was great at helping his Sunday school teacher with their routine and task in the classroom. During the actual church service, he opened a song book when he noticed that we all had our song books opened. He closed the song book during prayer and opened the song book again during singing! It was so amazing to see that. I could barely keep my composure I was so over come by joy! It's a good thing we sit in the very back!Trenton and Mommy went back to night service and he did the same thing. That nigh at church he loved looking at the song leader and listening to him sing. Good Job Trenton!! This tells Mommy lots of things....he was noticing things, imitating, and following routine! Whoo Hoo!!!
In the afternoon, he rode the  4 wheeler, painted a pumpkin, and watched Daddy and Aunt Mindy carve pumpkins. He was so good!! I am very proud of you Trenton!!


Before he painted a pumpkin with Mommy, he had to line them up.




He ended the day on Sunday sleeping the whole night too! We had no meltdowns, had some good eye contact, and he slept...I couldn't ask for a better day!

Saturday, October 26, 2013

The past few days


We had no school on Friday and our therapy was cancelled. That combination makes for a horrific day. By 8:30 AM I was already being pulled to the front door by Trenton with huge tears rolling down his face. I know he knew he should be at school and was wondering why he wasn't. I did my best to make his day as structured for him as possible. Nana and Mommy even took him and Andrew to a pumpkin patch to break the day up. The boys had a great time.  By the time we got back from the pumpkin patch, Trenton was having some major sensory problems. To be honest, Friday evening and night goes on my list of the top 5 worst evening  and nights. Nothing can describe Trenton's behavior that evening to make it even come close to where a reader could understand. All I will say is that I believe he was hallucinating, he had the "ant and body on fire" feeling, he hit himself, hit Mommy in the face, had meltdowns, and he had some major "out of body" experiences.
The past four nights Trenton has been up in the night running around, playing, and having meltdowns. I just don't know how long it will be til we find the right medicine  that will help him.

Today, however, he had a fantastic day! He made some great eye contact at moments and was very calm. Today was so great we even went to the Halloween parade tonight and Trenton did fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am very proud of him and how he composed himself at the parade. I have lots more to say but I need to go to bed. Here are a few pictures from the pumpkin patch.

Trenton's security at the pumpkin patch was a puzzle.





Thursday, October 24, 2013

Quick Update

Quick Update-
Trenton had been doing fantastic in therapies. However, today was a different story. The past 24 hours he has been very hyper and uncontrollable. His therapist had a very difficult time controlling him in ABA therapy today. His sleep is ferocious.  I am at my wit's end!!! Seriously!! No sleep, raising a child who is the energizer bunny 24/7, running here, running there to therapies, trying to figure out what he wants before a melt down occurs, battling his climbing issues and severe sensory issues every day is taking years off my life. NO JOKE!!! In my free time....whenever that is.....that will be my next research project! The other day I was having severe neck pain and stiffness, back pain, tingling neck and face, racing heart...do I need to say more!! If we don't get my poor child some help with his issues, we will both land ourselves in the hospital!
When it gets too much for me I stop and look at Trenton and I ask myself, "What does it feel like to be him if I feel like this?"

Hebrews 10:36 

For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised

James 1:12

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Trenton's School Picture

Trenton's school picture.
I think this picture speaks a thousand words.

Mommy loves you Cutie Patootie!!!

MeMoves

We are starting to do MeMoves around our house when we get home from school and therapy. MeMoves was introduced to me from Trenton's OT. She has started using it with Trenton for the first few minutes of her sessions with him and received some great response from him.

MeMoves™ is an easy and innovative way to increase attention and calm in as little as two minutes – in the classroom, at home, anywhere – for people of all ages and abilities.  A multimedia product that transforms the mind and body through interactive “body puzzles,” the program simultaneously engages a person’s auditory, visual, motor planning and sequencing, and limbic parts of the brain. Each MeMoves™ sequence is a patented combination of music, movement and images, utilizing simple, geometric shapes.  Organized into three categories; Joy, Focus and Calm, users select one of the 13 sequences on the DVD and follow along (imitate) the actions on the screen.
MeMoves™ can be used as an early childhood program for children as young as three, although it appeals to a wide range of ages and abilities. It is particularly helpful for individuals living with an Autism Spectrum Disorder, Asperger’s, Sensory Integration Disorder, ADD/ADHD, anxiety and or depression. 
  
MeMoves was designed from a mother of a child with autism.
I hope this is a great addition to our routine at home. I have to say it was the most expensive DVD I have ever bought but I will try anything and I mean ANYTHING to help Trenton.
 
Trenton, Andrew, and Mommy did MeMoves together today. Trenton lasted about ten minutes with it which is great for the first time doing it at home with brother and Mommy.

Here are a few pictures of Trenton doing some of the motions to MeMoves.



Andrew just wanted to smile and look cute.

What Does It Feel Like To Have Autism

http://autismawarenesspage.com/what-does-it-feel-like-to-have-autism/?utm_source=autaware&utm_medium=social&utm_term=20131015&utm_campaign=what-does-it-feel-like-to-have-autism



Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Lines

I love his lines!!!

He has really enjoyed lining up his letters and numbers lately. On a sad note, he doesn't play with toys like neurotypical children do. Instead, he lines items up and stares at them.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Strong

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/originals/a3/3e/87/a33e87b3c6fcf9a6a1b06aeb02d415e7.jpg

The Ugly Side of Autism

When you sit in the cold, emotionless doctors office and hear the words that your child has autism one can never prepare themselves for what the future holds. After you hear the words and realize how easily it flowed out of a doctors mouth who displayed not one ounce of empathy, one can never prepare themselves for what the future holds.

Here you are, 14 1/2 months post diagnosis and on some days you feel you have taken three steps forward and four backwards. After countless doctor appointments, after countless therapy appointments, after countless insurance calls, one can never prepare themselves for what the future holds.  Once you embrace those days of ectasy they are all too soon shattered by days of torment.

We live in a society where only the flamboyant side of ANYTHING makes the news. For instance, we hear repeatedly about all the great therapies for children with autism and how it is so marvelous to have a child with autism this day of age than it was forty plus years ago. Really?? Then why not display the true ugly side of autism that most parents are stuck in?? How can any parent prepare themselves for this when it is hidden from society?

A parent is given a piece of paper stating to get your child enrolled in 40 hours of therapy, preferably ABA for most of it. What does a parent do? They get their child in therapy!!!! That is what is needed and the research is all over the news on how wonderful it is and how it can make your child 's autism go from severe to mild in a few years. Nonetheless, those dreams are shattered by insurance companies who call you while you are waiting to see yet another specialist for your child. You pick up the phone only to hear the voice on the other end stating that your child's therapy is no longer covered this year by insurance because your child has reached the max limit. How is this possible??? How can you deny my child therapy that is medically necessary in order for him to live a functional life but you are telling me he can't receive it anymore? No one can prepare themselves for the heartache, the frustration, the depression, the rage, the tears and tears that flow constantly! Nothing can prepare you for the ugly side of the healthcare system. No one can prepare you for anything!!! Why???? We live in a society where we want to just talk about the good and not the ugly.
No one can prepare you at all! What do you do? You hang up the phone, put on that freaking fake smile you have had on your face since the day you knew your child had autism. You sit through the doctor appointment talking about how your child has had chronic diarrhea his whole life, you plead to the doctor to help your child. Please help his leaky gut!!!All I am asking you is to help him with just this one small, minute problem. Can the doctor help? Unfortunately I don't think so. Instead you hear how he will out grow possibly by the age of five if it is just "Toddler Diarrhea". And if its not just toddler diarrhea????? It's just part of autism.

Well thank you very much! I can't help my child with therapies because insurance says no.I can't help my child communicate and understand language because insurance puts a limit, I can't help my child sleep because no doctor is yet to find the right medication for him, I can't help my child with his chronic diarrhea because it is just part of it. Why not discuss this on the next segment of autism on foxnews?? That would just be too repugnant. Instead lets talk about the super-excellent side of these research based therapies that are proven to help but not tell the parents and society that insurance puts a limit that only covers 10% of the required amount.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Quick Update

Andrew finally seems to be over his diarrhea. Yay!!! His stool sample came back negative for rotavirus..which is great!
Trenton is still sleeping at night!!!!!!!!!!!! This happens with every new medication, he sleeps great for approximately three weeks. Lets pray this new mixture of medicines will be the key to change his sleeping forever!!!!!!!!!!
We are back in STL for a doctor appointment on Monday. Trenton sees a pediatric gastroenterologist.
I will post more about the weekend and how Trenton's doctor appointment goes after we get back from the doctor tomorrow night.

Friday, October 18, 2013

What They Didn't Tell Me About My Childs Autism

What They Didn't Tell Me About My Childs Autism:

Here are some things you will not find in your research on Autism.

You will not learn how this diagnosis will affect your marriage or other members of your family. You will not be told how it may fundamentally alter your perceptions of what is "normal," how it may change your view of human beings, how it can force you to question small talk and why we behave the way we do, how it will transform your outlook on life, how it will change you, how your life and everything you assumed to be true, is no longer what you thought.

Having a child with autism may cause you to feel things you never dreamed possible. You may know moments of joy and moments of despair you could not have imagined. You may find yourself going to untold lengths in the hope of helping your child. You may feel distracted, unable to concentrate. Your work and career may suffer. You may learn what it is to be sleep deprived. You will come to know what it means to feel desperation. You will know sorrow in a way no one can prepare you for. You will know happiness in a way no one can prepare you for. Sometimes you may feel both sorrow and happiness within the same day, within the same hour, within the same minute.

You may spend money you do not have on yet another treatment, yet another doctor, yet another specialist, yet another therapy, yet another intervention, all the while rationalizing that if it helps, it will all be worth it. You may contemplate doing things you would have scoffed at before your child was diagnosed. You may find yourself trying things that defy logic and have no medical basis. You may listen to implausible, anecdotal stories and think -- we will try that next. You may dream your child is speaking to you in full, complex, beautifully self aware and revealing sentences. You may wake from those dreams believing for a few seconds they were real and not a dream. You will pray that you might dream again. You will welcome sleep, as you never believed possible. You may ache with sadness because your child is crying and in pain and your presence brings them no solace. That ache may become unbearable when your child hits themselves in the face, bites their own arm or hand, punches their own legs or stomach. You may question every maternal instinct you have.

You may feel ecstasy from being hugged, unprompted. You may feel the exquisite joy from having your child reach for you, ask for you or look at you. You may know the joy that comes from seeing your child work so hard at something that does not come easily to them. You may celebrate when they use the bathroom unaided, drink from a cup, sleep for more than a few hours without waking you, try a new food or simply acknowledge your presence. You may feel a gratitude you would not have believed possible. You may cry from happiness when they say a word, any word, even if you are the only person who can understand what the word is. You will know what it is to appreciate commonplace things -- eye contact, the correct use of the word "me," "you" and "I," physical contact initiated by your child, a word, any word spoken or a smile.

You will feel a fierce love for your child that seems to come from a place that is not of this world. You will know what it is to love unconditionally and you will understand what that really means.

First Field Trip!

On Thurday Trenton's ECE classroom went to the pumpkin patch in town. Mommy got to meet them there. I loved it! It was very special to me to get the chance to see Trenton in action with his peers. Trenton did great!
Trenton and his classroom got to go through the straw maze, corn maze, made pumpkins, and had a snack.

It was Trenton's first time riding a bus. He loved it! I did not get a picture of him getting off the bus but I got a picture of the bus with him in it.






Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Headphones

He has fallen asleep the last two nights with his headphones on.

Structure Time at Home

To help make the days go smoothly after school and therapy, I have to have structure time. When most families are relaxing and their children are doing free play, families with a child with autism have to have structure play to prevent bad behaviors.
This is how we can be found from 3:00 in the afternoon on......
Both boys in secure seats working on task at hand. Andrew has no choice, he participates too! I often wonder what Andrew would be like if he grew up in a normal family environment???

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Pony

After the walk on Saturday, we went to a very small pumpkin patch. While we were there, the boys rode a pony. I think we need to get one. Horse therapy is suppose to do wonders for children with autism and other special needs. I totally believe this to be true!
Trenton was very relaxed when he rode a pony on Saturday. In fact, he cried when the ride was over. He was very calm and collected. I need a pony and I need one fast!!!!!!!!!! I have a feeling, we will get one. If I don't, then the money towards a pony will be spent else where on some horse therapy.



 This was the only thing all weekend that Andrew enjoyed



I thought Andrew was feeling better, but he isn't. His diarrhea and vomiting came back today. We are calling the doctor tomorrow.

Trenton on the other hand continued today to blossom! He gave his classmates hugs today when he saw them. He made eye contact on several occasions with me!!! Plus, he has slept the past three nights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Praise the Lord for some answered prayers!!

Monday, October 14, 2013

Chucke Cheese & Best Moment Yet!

On Friday after Trenton's doctor appointment, we went to Chucke Cheese.  He handled the environment in Chucke Cheese very well! Trenton tuned everything out and was in his own world the whole time going from one ride to the next but he never had a meltdown!!!!! He appeared perfectly normal for a while. I would say only people who are educated about autism would have said that he has autism. Roughly after the first ten to fifteen minutes, he started to get uncomfortable in his environment. He started to do the same ride over and over and over. When we would not let him ride that particular ride anymore, he started to wander off and wanted to go to the quiet area. However, I was very pleased and proud of him for not having a meltdown!!  Andrew, on the other hand, was not happy the whole time. He was scared from the beginning. He rode one ride, our first ride, and had a death grip on me the whole time. For every ride after that, he cried and would not get on the rides. He was VERY happy when we left.




 Little A just wanted to leave!


On Friday Trenton and I shared our most amazing moment yet! He looked right into my eyes and said, "Ma", reached for me, hugged me, kissed me, and smiled at me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to relive it right now as I type this! I celebrated and cried about that moment numerous times the past few days! Wow!!!!!!!!!

Trenton is displaying some fantastic moments lately. I am very proud of him. He has done nothing but work and struggle in therapies for one year and a half. I believe we are finally seeing some rewards from our hard work!!! Keep it up Trenton!!!!!!!! You are my angel!!! Always and Forever!

Lots more great pictures and moments to share from the weekend but bed is calling my name. Stay tuned....

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Doctor and The STL Walk for Autism

We had an amazing weekend! It started off with Trenton's doctor appointment Friday morning. The doctor took Trenton off of Clonodine. I did not like the way it made Trenton during the day. He was either extremely moody or the medicine just did not work. Therefore, she put Trenton on Guanfacine. We hope this will help Trenton's hyperactivity and impulsive behavior during the day. She sent Trenton to the lab to test lots of different things in his blood. I will let you know everything after I get the results on that. She also referred Trenton to a pediatric Gastroenterologist doctor.

Trenton has always had extremely loose stools. I have discussed this before however I try not to talk about "poop" a whole lot on this blog. It looks like I am for awhile now!! We go next Monday to see this doctor and discuss what we can do to help Trenton's "leaky gut". Many children with autism have what is called the "leaky gut". This is where they have chronic diarrhea and bad bacteria in their stools. Leaky gut is a proposed condition of an altered or damaged bowel lining. It is hypothesized to be caused by increased permeability of the gut wall resulting from toxins, poor diet, parasites, infection, or medications. The leaky gut then allows substances such as toxins, microbes, undigested food, waste, or larger than normal macromolecules to leak through an abnormally permeable gut wall. Proponents suggest that these out-of-place substances affect the body directly or initiate an immune reaction.  Sad to say, Trenton still has bowel movements in his sleep at the age of three! Due to the toxins in his stool, they make his bottom raw if his diaper is not changed ASAP! IF he has a bowel movement in his sleep and I am sleeping, who hears it? No one! Therefore the diaper is not changed until he wakes up and he has a very raw bottom. With all of this said, we hope to fine some answers to this issue starting next Monday!

The second half of our weekend was spent at the Walk for Autism in Saint Louis! It was a great morning! I couldn't have been happier with how it all turned out. Trenton was very overwhelmed from the beginning.  I showed him his headphones and he put them on and was much calmer. After he put on the headphones he collapsed on my lap and wanted me to hold him for the next 45 minutes. I didn't care that the ground was wet from the rain that morning, Trenton needed me to hold him and protect him and he very rarely lets me ever hold him. At one point, a lady walked over to us with her three kids and asked us if Trenton wanted a balloon! Of course, he loves balloons! It was so nice to spend my morning with people who can look at you and not judge you but instead they UNDERSTAND and offer a helping hand!

There was 20,000 plus people there. That is a lot of people that are effected by autism in one way or the other. The morning was great but very emotional. I fought back my tears the whole time. I let them fall for a few minutes before the race and at the end. The Walk for Autism means a lot to me. It's not about just showing up and walking. Its much more than that. It's about the autism community coming together for our children and adults who suffer from this horrendous disorder. It's about showing support to those whose life was robbed. They will never have a chance at a "normal" life that we are blessed with. Therefore I walked last year, I walked this year, and I will walk in the future. I walk for my son who is my pride and joy!. I walk for my family who will never have the "normal" family life. I walk for every individual and their family who suffers from this and I walk with PRIDE!!!!!!!!! However, that PRIDE has a lot of HEARTACHE that can never be healed.  Unfortunately, I walk with HEARTACHE too. I walk with strength from my God above who blessed me with my angel, Trenton. It will be my most important mile walk that I walk each year!

Thank you Trenton for showing me what is truly important in this short life on Earth! Always and Forever!!

Enjoy our pictures from Trenton's very important day!

The man of the day!!!
 We took some pictures before we left for the walk. Nana and Pops came with Mommy and the boys on Friday night to Uncle Brent's house. Daddy had to stay behind and work. He met up with us at the walk.




 We are on our way to the walk!!!!!!

 Trenton was wanting to escape the crowd here.

 He sat like this for 45 minutes.











 We are walking to the start of the walk.

 The best mile walk begins!




 We are approaching the finish line.
 Mommy and Daddy taking their boys across the finish line. We both had tears in our eyes. It was a very special moment taking our boys across the finish line in support of Trenton.

 There were cheerleaders cheering us on. The boys joined in clapping with them.


 He received his edible reward from Mommy for doing FANTASTIC!!!!
 Until next year STL..........
 I love these photos...





 Trenton had some stimulation overload and passed out on the trip back to Uncle Brent's house.


Team Trenton wore green this year because it is Trenton's favorite color!
Our bible verse on the back of our shirts read....
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

Many more pictures to come later on our family blog.