Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Trenton's Birthday Letter from Mommy

Happy 4th Birthday Trenton!

I can't believe you are 4!! Then again, it seems like I have known you forever. I can't imagine life without you. Two and a half years ago we  entered into the world of therapy. Slowly over time Mommy has added a full load of therapy to your schedule. You are happiest when you are in a structured therapy setting. I LOVE to see you happy!!!

You have made tremendous progress over the years. I think back to the days when you literally did not sleep. Ninety percent of our nights were spent awake. If there was a video camera in our house recording what you and I went would be a sight for sore eyes. Those were the days when you would fall asleep anywhere. You and I spent many of nights sleeping in the middle of the kitchen floor because I was so sleep deprived that when you finally closed your eyes for sleep, I collapsed on the floor by you. We not only slept in the kitchen floor but almost every floor of every room in our house. That was also the period I spent a good majority of our nights cruising the country roads trying to calm you down because all you could do was cry. WOW...look at you now!!! We no longer have to drive in the middle of the night for hours on end!!! You have not went through a period of not sleeping at all for a long time. Yes you still have a lot of sleep problems but they are NOTHING to what it use to be like for you!

I am so proud of you!  You have made HUGE strides. Our successes are not like neurotypical kids but that is ok! We celebrate the small things and appreciate the very minute things in life.

I could not be more proud to walk this journey with you. In fact, I think we have a pretty awesome unique life. I know you want to be like other kids and I would do ANYTHING if I could make you be like them. You and I don't have to speak words....we just know don't we Trenton? I see your occasional glance at kids and family members. I see you looking at them from the corner of your eye just anticipating when they will engage with you. You speak many words without speaking.....Mommy knows!

It's so hard not to think what you would be like if autism didn't take over. The past few weeks have been so very hard on me. This should be your first year of Pre-K. I want you to go to school this year so badly!! I think of it almost every day. You loved your ECE classroom last year. I wish your life was so easy that you could just be a normal kid with a normal childhood. I pray deep, fervent prayers almost hourly for you Bubba. They are being heard...we just wait and see what God says.Although you aren't going back to your ECE class, you love Harsha! I am very excited to see what we gain the next year by attending there.

I know through your hard work and through your amazing work ethic we will continue to make huge gains! I anticipate  the day you will walk up to me and look into my eyes and say, " I love you mom." Oh my goodness just thinking about it brings me to tears! We will get there Bubba!!!! WE will!! I promise!!
I know you will.....just like I know one day you will be able to manage your body and communicate your needs to us. Oh Trenton, those will be such glorious days.

The battles you fight daily will pay off....we just have to keep on going and let God manage it! God has done some TREMENDOUS things for us. We have been truly blessed!!

What I want you to know most on your 4th birthday is how amazing you are!! You are not only amazing, you are strong. You are by far the strongest 4 year old that I know and I have the pleasure to be your MOMMY!!!! God is good......he put us together!
I wouldn't trade all my sleepless nights, stressful days for anything!!! You are my one and only Trenton!!!
I love you Bubba!!!
Always and Forever!!!

A few pictures of Trenton's journey in this life so far...

You are growing up fast Bubba!!! Makes Mommy sad....but we sure do have some good times in all of those hard times.

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