Monday, September 22, 2014

Judgment

I get asked a lot about what is the hardest part of raising two children on the spectrum. I am not sure that there is one thing that is harder than another to be truthful.  Each and every component of autism is exhausting. Autism literally takes every ounce of energy and sucks it out of you. Yet, you still have to keep on going and going like the energizer bunny to keep up with your child. Therefore, there is not just one thing that is harder than another with autism. Nonetheless, if I could pick one thing that I wish parents of children with autism did not have to deal with, it would be judgment.

I came across this article today..
Another cause of emotional distress for parents is the judgment issued by others on their child, and on them as parents [3].  The lack of definitive, visible signs of autism causes outsiders to view autistic children as “normal”.  Thus when an outsider sees an autistic child throwing a tantrum in public they pass judgment on the child.  Since children are usually a reflection of the parents, this causes stress for the parents because they are being judged as possibly “bad” parents for not controlling their child or allowing them to throw tantrums in public [3]. The judgment of the parents’ job by others causes stress because not only can the parents not control how their child reacts, they also realize that their child cannot really control many of his or her own actions.”
 
The key thing in that short paragraph is the highlighted sentences....lack of visible signs. As I have said numerous times on this blog, people have to "see" the disability. Children with autism have a wheelchair too just like people who have to sit in a wheelchair. Trenton and Andrew have wheelchairs on their brain. One can not see their wheelchair so it is so easy to be passed off as something as simple as bad parenting.
As many of you know, I started blogging a long time ago on my first blog. I was not going to let people judge me. I was Trenton's advocate a long time before we got the official stamp of autism. Many people in this world lack being educated on autism and by gosh I am here to educate you! I refuse to let my family be judged and I refuse to let my boys be judged by others for their lack there of.
 
The one thing I knew that I always wanted to be in life was a mother. I looked forward to that day and I could taste it long before it happened. With that said, I refuse to have my one chance in life as a mother be judged by others because of their lack of knowledge. The unfortunate thing is that I have came across many people who have not the slightest clue what autism is really all about. I often get told that people think individuals with autism just don't talk. That is completely wrong. There is a large percentage that  do talk and communication is only one small area out of 12 that children with autism battle.  With that said, I will continue to blog and advocate for my boys and their hidden disability till the day I die. That is part of the reason I like blogging much better than Facebook. On my blog I explain and tell the story behind the pictures as well as educating.  Some pictures speak a thousand words and some pictures you don't know the real story until you hear it.


Here are some pictures of the boys from Harsha today! They look so happy in their pictures! They love Harsha  and all of their therapies at home! I can't express how much therapy has helped Trenton and Andrew over the years.
 In these pictures I see happy boys getting the help they need. I just love the way Trenton and Andrew looked and smiled for these pictures today!

Trenton and Lindsay
 Trenton and Natalie

 Andrew and Lindsay
 

Trenton and his coach, Missy, singing and dancing to "If you are happy and you know it" on Friday last week.
 

4 comments:

  1. There is an actual visable difference in Trenton since Harsha. There seems to be more eye contact, more participation, and a big beautiful smile not always seen! So excited for you.

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  3. We have all noticed the difference in the boys since coming to Harsha. The staff is all so nice and we are always greeted with smiles! The coaches all work so well with the boys. There is "hidden" blessings in all things....even autism.
    Aleta aka Nana

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