On some days I don't even know where to begin. I feel like I could sit down and write a book everyday but finding the starting point is difficult. There is so much to say, vent, and talk about. There is never a dull moment in our household, but autism doesn't simply allow for dull moments.
When autism takes over your child, your life and your child's life is never the same. There are no weekend getaways, no going out to eat on a Friday night, no taking your child to a movie, no going to a public park, no T-ball practices, no wiener roast or hayrides.....there is nothing of the norm. NOTHING!
Instead, there is non stop all eyes on your child so he doesn't end up on top of your roof breaking his leg. There is making sure every special lock in the house is locked at all times so he doesn't take off out of your house. There is no making lunch or supper in peace because once your child sees your fixing something he will stop at nothing to be on top of the stove just like the pot of boiling water. Instead of telling your child to clean up his toys before bed, you have to clean up a Hurricane 5 every night and morning. Instead of buying cute toddler underwear, I have to buy big diapers for big toddler boys. Instead of washing toddler underwear, I spend many minutes of my days scrubbing and washing my walls off because they have had poop smeared all over them.
So much of the time I ask and wonder how in the world do I make it through my days on such little sleep and rest. Every hour and minute of my day is chasing and handling a severe child with autism. .......which is by far the toughest job I have ever had but the most rewarding one at the same time.
Once you have a child with autism, you really notice a lot of the world that you may not have noticed or paid too much attention to before autism. For example, I was sitting and waiting for an appointment a few weeks ago. As I sat there, in walked a gentleman and his child. They checked in and sat down. All of a sudden I hear the father say, "Here take a drink. Let's get you all jacked up for the day. Don't tell your mom." I hear the boy say, "That's good. I want another drink." The father and son continued to talk and laugh about the fact that he was only 4 years old drinking coffee. The father continued to give his child drink after drink of coffee. I couldn't help but think to myself and wonder what in the world does this father give his child to drink when he is not in public if he is giving his 4 year old coffee and laughing hysterically about it.
Unfortunately, that is life. I would never allow my child to drink coffee at 4 years old. Good grief...I never had a sip of coffee while I was pregnant! It's people and parents like this that 9 times out of 10 have perfectly normal children. UGH! So frustrating! But that's okay! No one promised that life would be fair. We have our Bible to prove that to us. The book of Job is a very good example. In Job, we see a man who God allows to be directly attacked by Satan. He is an example of faithfulness as he loses everything important to him yet remains faithful to God. Its purpose is to illustrate God’s sovereignty and faithfulness during a time of great suffering.
On some days when I wonder what else can I endure??? What else can I take?? What else is this life going to have in store for my family?....I soon realize that we will be okay! We have been blessed beyond belief in this world and I couldn't be more thankful! Our life is just different than the average normal families life and that is perfectly okay!