Monday, March 2, 2015

Andrew

Many of our family and friends have a hard time believing that Andrew has autism when they are around him. His autism presents itself completely opposite of Trenton. Remember the saying...If you have met one child with autism, you have met one child with autism.
Yes I did post some cute pictures from the weekend. It was a fun weekend when we were out in the snow on Saturday and Sunday. However, the times in-between those pictures were difficult, especially on Sunday. A year or two ago, it was Trenton causing me more havoc than Andrew. Now, that role is reversed. But to some, they can't believe it because when they around him he presents himself as a very social kid with a few delays.
I wish everyone could of seen what I went through yesterday. Maybe...just maybe...some would quit judging. ( I would love to see a tv documentary following a family around with kids on the spectrum. It would be more educational than anything one can read.)

The boys and I were in the house all day except when we went outside to play in the snow. The boys do not do well when we are home by ourselves all day without any structure.

Andrew does not play with toys anymore. Therefore, he follows Trenton around all day. Andrew has to be up in his face, grabbing his ears, squeezing his nose, squeezing his hands, and being no less than 2 inches from Trenton at al times. Andrew has no idea what personal space is ( a huge problem of people on the spectrum). However, to some it appears to be just a super social child. Its not when you are around him all the time.

All day I battle trying to get Andrew away from Trenton. Andrew refuses and is up in Trenton's face all the time. Trenton hates this! Trenton wants as much space between him and you as possible! Therefore, Trenton retaliates. Soon, Andrew comes running to me crying. Once he is done crying, Andrew is right back where he was and it all starts all over again. Normally, while I am trying to tell Andrew what he does wrong and why Trenton doesn't like it, Trenton is off climbing up on my kitchen counters looking for something to get himself hurt on.
I get Trenton down from the counters and Andrew is back tormenting Trenton. It is never ending. What do you do all day long with two boys with autism?!? This past weekend was a good reminder of why I moved even when I didn't want to. I only have to battle two full days at home without any structure.!!!!

Oh but to some it just appears that they need a good spanking or harsher discipline. IF ONLY THAT WAS ALL THEY NEEDED!!!!!!!!

My bottom doesn't sit down on the weekends until they are both in bed. If I eat lunch or supper, its on the run, seriously! ( You would think I would lose weight instead of gaining.)  Then at that,  I can't sit and do anything for myself because if I want any sleep, I best get in bed ASAP!

I'm not going to lie...raising two boys on the spectrum is the most mentally draining thing I have ever done. Its way harder, more stressful, and more draining then when I worked 12-14 hours a day/ 6 days a week. (I always held down two jobs until I had children.)

Our house is nothing but crazy and chaotic.


I will end this post with a few of Andrew's quirks. I can't help but laugh at them. We have to find something to laugh about in the midst of heartache!

  • I have had a cold for over a week now. I have done a lot of coughing lately. Yesterday when I finished coughing after a bad episode, I looked at Andrew and said, "I can't wait till I am over this cold." Andrew looked at me with the most puzzling look, touched me and said, "You aren't cold Mommy. You are warm." I tested him a few more times and said the same thing and each time he told me that I was not cold. In Andrew's mind a cold is not sickness. A cold describes a temperature.
  • Andrew does not like me without make up. Andrew tells me every morning to put my make up on after he realizes I don't have any on. The other morning I tried to just put foundation on but Andrew did not like that. He took me by the hand and led me to the bathroom and said. "Mommy put your make-up on."
  • Andrew and I were looking at pictures the other day. He pointed to a picture of us and said, " I like this Mommy." I said , "What is wrong with me? Why do you like that Mommy better?" Andrew said while pointing to the picture, "This Mommy has make up on. ( I am really starting to think that I must be ugly without make-up)
  • Andrew has a shirt that I have not been able to make him wear this winter. Every time I try to put it on him he says, "That is C.J's shirt." C.J is his cousin and wore the same shirt to his birthday party in November. Therefore, Andrew can't wear the same thing as someone else other than Trenton.
  • Andrew tells me the last time I wore my shirts. For example, he will point to my shirt and say, "You wore that to Nana's house."
  • I called a box of cereal one time, "Mommy's cereal." Now, every time I buy that cereal it is called, "Mommy's cereal." If I say the correct name of the cereal, Andrew screams and says, "No its not. It's Mommy's cereal."

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