Monday, March 16, 2015

Why I sleep in Trenton's room


Almost every night I climb into bed with Trenton. I rarely sleep in the normal position in bed because by the time I crawl in bed he is taking up the entire bed. With that said, I most likely crawl up at the foot of the bed and sleep in an awkward position. Sometimes I wake up to my legs cramping because I have no room so I will move to the floor or to the couch.

I am sure you are asking yourself, "Why does she do that?"It is hard for people to understand why I sleep in Trenton's room every night. If just reading my blog from time to time can't explain enough for you then let me tell you what happened last night.

I didn't get much sleep last week. I had four of the roughest nights in a row. My total amount of sleep last week equals what an average person should get in one night. It is truly amazing what I can do on two hours of sleep daily. With that said, sleep deprivation is taking over again. I am very thankful that Trenton slept for some consecutive hours last night! However, I was up with Andrew a lot last night. What happened last night will haunt me forever because it could have been a very bad situation.......
I remember looking at my phone and the time was 4 AM when I was crawling back in bed with Trenton after getting Andrew back to sleep. The next thing I know I hear crying but I am in Andrew's room. My knees were on the floor because I was kneeling over Andrew's bed....my hand was on Andrew's back....my face was nose first in Andrew's bed. I obviously heard Andrew crying and went to his room to soothe him back to sleep. I went back  in Trenton's room because I thought that was where he was crying and he was not there. I immediately went downstairs to find Trenton standing in the house fussing, crying, and in a state of panic.

It was all I could do to not vomit. I was sick to my stomach. I was so sleep deprived that I accidentally fell asleep while soothing Andrew back to sleep. When I go to take care of Andrew in the night I always leave his door wide open just in case Trenton wakes up so I can see and hear him. Sometimes Trenton wakes up and is very noisy but sometimes he wakes up and is as quiet as a mouse.

Trenton could have been walking around the house and crying for one hour. I have no idea how long. I'm guessing he wasn't crying long since I heard him and woke up. We are just lucky that he wasn't in a destructive mood.  He could have hurt himself...he could have escaped from the house ....its scary to think what could have happened. I think what disturbs me the most is the fact that he didn't know to go upstairs and see if I was in Andrew's room. He didn't know to go upstairs and open the door to where Daddy was sleeping. He can't yell, "Mom where are you?" He can't say, "I am awake for the day mom." He can't spontaneous talk and protect himself!!!!!!!!!! All he knew to do was cry like a tiny baby. On some nights Trenton would not have cared and he would have went wild destroying the house and hurting himself. We were just lucky that Trenton was in a calm mood and crying. Thank goodness I have good ears and heard him crying all the way upstairs from downstairs.

This is why I sleep in Trenton's room or on the couch. Trenton always wakes up and heads downstairs when he is ready to leave his room. If I am asleep on the couch I hear him. To parent a child like Trenton there can absolutely be no letting your guard down. I can't go to bed like I used to. I have to prepare and be on guard in my sleep to prevent a tragedy from happening to him. Sadly, it's almost weekly that a child with autism escapes from their parent's house. Too often than not, they are found dead.  I refuse to let that happen to my children which is why I take every precautionary measure that I can humanly do even if it means that I never sleep the right way in bed or sleep half my time on the couch or the floor.

3 comments:

  1. You are a great mama. That's all I can say.

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  2. My son used to wander too, it's very stressful! Especially when the police found him before I did! One thing that I did that helped was to hang a door chime on the door so that I could hear it opening better. Maybe you could set up some sort of alarm on his bedroom door?

    The lack of sleep is killer though. Trust me, sleep is not something you can skimp out on. I did it for years and now I am having a lot of health problems as a result. Can you find a way to get better sleep? Maybe lay a mattress on the floor in front of the door in Trenton's room so that you can sleep a bit better? Praying for you.

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  3. Forgive me if this seems naive or cruel, but have you considered putting a lock on his door (from the outside)? You could just switch the locks around on the door handle. I did this with my daughter for about a week and she learned to stay in her room. Also, as for escaping from the house, can you put up extra locks/chains high enough on the doors so that he cannot reach them? Might provide some extra peace of mind.

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