If Trenton's autism was consistent it would help like no other! My poor child had a rough weekend. I wish...oh how I wish...I knew exactly what makes his body and mind change. After a weekend like this, it only drives me even more to advocate, educate, and spend the rest of my life making a difference in the world of autism. I do not want anyone to have to live like my children do or how my family lives!
Friday evening is when everything went spirally downhill faster than Jack and Jill! I spent my whole evening trying to keeping him from running into my living room and dining room walls as hard as he could. He would run circles in the house and head for the wall and jump into the wall while making his noises. I would try to stop him and calm him down but he was not having it. His heart was beating at rapid speeds. The adrenaline going through his body was out of this world. He was in his element and no one on this Earth would have been able to control him. When I would try to hold him and talk to him he would just kick me, hit me, scream, and cry. He is as strong as 200 lb power lifter. Nothing can get in his way. The most difficult of it all was trying to take him the bathroom and potty train during this episode. He finally closed his eyes and went to sleep at 11:55 PM. It was the battle the whole entire time leading up to that, that was ugly. The night before he had been up since 4 AM. Many times I have been up for 24-30 hours straight due to the fact of his inconsistent sleep pattern.
Saturday evening was the same way. He had a fairly calm day throughout the day and around 4 PM, his adrenaline kicked in and nothing was stopping him. He did the exact same thing all evening and night. This time while he was having his sensory driven episode, he was spitting everywhere. I could not get him to stop spitting on the floor. He would spit in his hands and rub the spit all over his face and arms. He was also trying to kick his dresser down in his bedroom. He would kick the wall so hard that I would not have been surprised if he kicked a hole in the wall. I simply can't describe to you the amount of strength that he has during his sensory driven episodes. Only the mothers of children with severe autism understand what I am talking about!
He finally went to sleep a little after midnight last night. Thank goodness I did not have to handle that evening alone. Nana came and gave me some support. Daddy had a long weekend of work because he worked some overtime which we are grateful for!! Therefore, Nana came to my rescue! She is probably the next person to understand and know what it is like. She has seen a majority of Trenton's episodes but this weekend topped her list of the most outrageous, out of control night time behavior that she has witnessed.
As I have said a thousand times on here, I can't imagine what it would be like to live in his body.
Not only was our evening and nights rough this weekend but potty training was horrible. I can count on one hand the times that he was not resistant on walking to the bathroom. Almost every time he would hit me, kick me, fuss, or scream at me when it was time for the bathroom. He would not sit on the toilet for more than 15 seconds. He was doing everything in his power to resist potty training this weekend. How do you keep a child on the toilet that is hitting you and kicking you?!?! I feel like I have completely failed at that this weekend. I feel like I have failed this whole weekend!
So back to the inconsistency.....its hard! I never know if it is a night that he will fall asleep at 8 PM and be awake for the day by 1AM or if it is a day that he stays awake till midnight or after and sleeps to 5 AM. On some days when I finally get to go to bed is when he is waking up for the day on other days. I never know when or what kind of day or night it will be. Therefore, I have to be 100% flexible. It is not like a job where I know that I have to be at work at 10 AM every day. I never know when my work begins or when it will end. I will never forget my husband telling me one time that he has it way easier than me because he was able to leave and go to work and his work was nothing like taking care of the boys all day long. He is right, my life was way easier when I worked outside of the home and only battled autism half the day. If I can get through this life.....I can do anything!
Despite how hard it is, they are the best two things that has ever happened to me! I am so blessed to be their Mommy and share this unique life with them! I am a firm believer that our challenges make us stronger! I know it has me. It is up to me to be their voice and make the ending to our beautiful life.