Andrew spent the weekend with Nana and Pops. We have been wanting to do this for a long time now due to a few reasons. One, he ask me at least once a week if we can go Nana's house or he will ask me to go to our grey house. A huge part of Flora will always be home to Andrew. Two, to simply give me a break. I can not put in to words what it is like to care for two kids with autism, one being severe, 24/7. I do not get anything done when I have either one of them. Neither one will let me. Therefore I laugh when people ask me if I sleep on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. The answer is NO!! Those are the days I cook ( my family needs to have food), clean inside the house, clean outside the house and maintain the landscaping, balance the checkbook and pay bills, clean out my car because the Hurricane hits my car daily, exercise, work on organizing the Walk Now for Autism Speaks, advocate, make my calls to insurance companies or anything else that I have to fight for because of autism, and many more task.
With all of that said, I enjoyed having only one child to concentrate on. I knew Andrew was in good hands. My parents are very aware on how to manage him and his autism. For the first time on a Saturday in months I actually sat down on the couch and enjoyed watching Trenton. Yes, my rear-end sat on a couch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That never happens!!!! No joke!
While in Flora, Andrew enjoyed himself to the fullest! He played with Lincoln and went to a wedding. It is sad all of the weddings and funerals that I have missed because of Trenton's autism.
Anyway, I met my parents in Effingham today to pick up Trenton. They suggested since we had three adults, to try to take Trenton to a restaurant. The restaurant experience was like a scene from the Twilight Zone. We went to Pizza Hut to eat their buffet and lets just say my buffet looked like this...
Autism is the only disability where you can't even take your child to a restaurant!!! I would trade a physical disability any day over autism. At least I would be able to get my child out in public and not be trapped in my home. Yes it would be hard but at least I could do it. I simply can't do anything with severe autism.
Needless to say once we got home the rest of our Sunday was pure wild! I am serious as a heart attack when I say, I am not sure how much longer I can care for two kids with autism 24/7. When Trenton is having sensory issues with his body, he is out of control. For instance, while I was making Andrew's supper plate, Trenton is smearing his ketchup hands all over my walls and floors. I immediately start cleaning that up and he is spilling his juice all over the house. Before I can get to the juice mess, he is peeing all over the sensory room floor and then runs to his room and starts taking everything out of his closet making a huge mess. All the while, Andrew is Mr. Needy 24/7 and requiring constant attention. Plus, it doesn't last only a half hour....this kind of behavior continues for the rest of the day Sometimes we have repeated days like this....even weeks like this. Please tell me how anyone can keep up with this after almost 5 years. Some days are not like this. Trenton can have very calm days. One simply does not know if our day is going to be a huge rainstorm or a small sprinkle.
Over a week ago I battled terrible back pain. No pain meds helped it. When I had the chance to sleep at night I couldn't because of my back. Sadly, my back pain was from fighting Trenton. He pulls away from me and fights when I have to take him to the bathroom to try to potty train him. He fights me terrible to change his clothes when he is not in the mood to. He fights me with everything. If he is causing havoc on my body at the age of almost 5, what is it going to be like when he is 10 or 15????
If autism was the only major stress in my life, things would be a lot different. I am a firm believer of that. Unfortunately, autism is only one major stress. However, I am getting by through my faith!! It is amazing how much God can help!
I really fear what our future holds.