Saturday, October 24, 2015

Lots of Crying & Sad Moments

Trenton had a very calm week. He had at least 3 days this week where he had extremely sad days. He did a lot of crying off and on at Harsha and at home. I believe Friday was the worst of his "sad" days. He asked for "Mommy" while crying again. His coach was texting me and we were trying to figure out why he was sad and crying. It tears me up on the inside to see him and to hear about his sad moments.

When I went to pick Trenton up on Friday afternoon, he had been good and had not cried for a good period. However, when he saw my van pull up, he bursted out in tears. He came walking out to the waiting room crying and walking straight for me. Obviously, we don't know why he started crying when he saw my van because he can't speak. Although, I am fairly confident I know why. It is not because he didn't want to go home. He spent a good part of his day crying and asking for me. Nonetheless, I think he was so relieved to see me he just bursted out in tears.

I am sure we all have been in a situation where we are upset and then we see a loved one and we just let it go...we break down and sob. I think this is what Trenton did. After a good while of crying and asking for me, he knew I wasn't coming till pick up time so he forced through his day. When he finally saw me, he lost it:)

I had a very rough evening and night with the boys. Trenton did a lot of crying Friday evening just like he had done all week. He took my hand at one point while in tears and placed my hand on his left temple. I would guess he had a headache. I can't express how difficult it is to figure out what is hurting him or where he is sick at if he is sick. It is terrible. It is excruciating pain to watch your child suffer in life. I just can't imagine the frustration that he goes through trying to communicate.

He went to bed around 8 last night and was up for the day at 11:30 PM. He had a very rough night! He took a nap around 6 AM this morning right when Andrew woke up...of course:)

I have thought about all of Trenton's "sad" moments and days a lot today. I kept on comparing Trenton to a story that I saw on the news this week. It was about a young couple who was engaged to get married. The future groom was in a car wreck and he was left quadriplegic. He ended up marrying his fiancĂ© and she spends her life taking care of her husband. The man who was doing their interview asked the man what it meant to have his fiancĂ© stick by his side and still marrying him and to devote her life taking care of him? The husband used a device that spoke for him and he said, "How long do you have? It'll take all day to tell you how much I love my wife.
 When the device spoke his words, the husband showed no emotion on his face. None whatsoever because due to his disability, he was unable to smile or to even have "life" in his eyes. However, his heart was full of nothing but love for his wife but he simply couldn't even smile to let her know. He reminded me so much of a person with severe autism. I truly do believe that Trenton is full of nothing but love for me and all of his loved ones, he just simply can't show it. Even when he was so excited to see me on Friday that he cried, he just simply couldn't even give me a simple hug. Nothing...just like the husband who was parlayed.....but I know he loves me more than any words can say or more than any actions can prove.

Even between all the sad moments, he worked hard this week at Harsha. He asked for help while working on the steps of brushing teeth!
Plus, he had a great week with his potty training at Harsha. Not so much at home but he is doing well there!

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