In my book I discussed a little about birthdays and autism. Birthdays are not only difficult for the child with autism because of various reasons, but it is also difficult for some parents and I am one of them.
But, why? Why are birthdays are hard?
I am very lucky and blessed to be celebrating Trenton turning 6 very soon. Sadly, many parents are not even able to celebrate six years with their child due to tragic accidents, disease, or many other reasons. Thus, I am very blessed. However, it comes with mixed emotions.
I cried tears today just thinking about it so it will be interesting how the week goes. It's hard to watch your child have a disability where he ages and gets older but he isn't "maturing" in every other area. For instance, besides not being able to do many things due to his autism, he is still not "matured" in other areas. For example, forget buying him anything age appropriate. If you want to buy Trenton a toy, your best bet is to look for toys in the range of eighteen months to two years. He isn't even close to being able to enjoy many toys that are even aged younger than he is. He is unable to pedal anything. We never were able to get excited about him pedaling a tricycle. He is unable to do things like that so watching him age just simply is hard because there are so many things that he isn't able to do.
It's a cruel world these days and raising children with special needs in an already cruel world is not an easy task and often leaves the parents raising the kids very worrisome.
It's difficult to watch other children his age. It amazes me to say the least. I get blown away at times at what neurotypical six year olds can do. WOW! I guess when it's not your life, you just have no idea. He could be starting Kindergarten or even first grade this year. Instead, we are better at a facility for kids with autism so he can receive special training.
It doesn't matter if a person has reached the acceptance and moving on stage in their life, the pain is still there and always will be. I have accepted many things in my life but it still doesn't mean that I don't get sad at times. That is human nature. When a parent buries a child they continue to live their life but it doesn't mean that they still don't mourn every single day. They just learn how to live and cope with the pain while moving on. The same goes for parents of special needs children, we move on and accept the life our children have but it doesn't make the pain go away. It's always there. We just learn how to live with it.