Ever since our journey began, the thing I heard the most from people was, "What do you do for yourself?" I would always get a lecture from people where they would tell me how I needed to take time for myself to rejuvenate, etc.
When our journey took us to Indiana almost two years ago, it was the first time since having Trenton where I was going to be "separated" from him. Before, I was on the road over two hours daily taking him to and from therapies. Now, I was going to live in the same town that had this amazing facility where I was able to drop him off for a few hours! Wow....that had never happened before. With that said, I was looking forward to the first time of being able to have time to rejuvenate and I wanted to use that time to reconnect with my husband at the time and to spend some family time with Andrew. Well, time was very limited after we moved. I had only a few hours daily away from boys and Trenton still wasn't sleeping good so the time that I was hoping for turned out to be much less than what I thought. I was sleep deprived and up around the clock still. My husband at the time wasn't interested in family time so that time turned into Mommy and Andrew time on Andrew's days off. I enjoyed that and still do. I never had that either before we moved.
A year ago Andrew started preschool. I had two hours while he was at preschool. During this time I started walking. I used to always work out before I had the boys and loved it. However, when babies came....and then autism.......and children who literally only let me sleep two hours per night there was no time and energy to workout. However, I had two hours and I made myself walk. During that time I started reading the book, Silent Running, about a family with two boys who are much like Trenton and they ran together as a family when their boys got older. This book inspired me to turn my walking into running.
December 2015 I started running. I looked up how to train myself to be a runner. I had a program in place. Wow....I couldn't run 15 seconds without being completely out of breath. Years of no sleep and nothing but stress had took a toll on me and my body. In the first three months I had lots of pulled muscles and injuries but I stuck with it. I am so glad that I stuck with it!!! I never thought a year ago that I would be able to take off and run for a complete hour but I can now! I never thought I would love to run but I do! I LOVE IT! Working out and running has done wonders for my stress. Trenton sleeps consecutive hours now so I have energy to run during the day. It is the first thing I do when the boys are at their destinations. I only have three hours each day without being with the boys, or in a meeting, or at therapy, or fighting to save our house, or anything else that arises and let me tell you lots of stuff comes up with two kids with special needs. Therefore, I make sure to get my workout in the first thing because it truly inspires me for the rest of the day.
When I am running and struggling and wanting to quit, I think of the boys and their special needs. I think of people who are unable to use their legs. I think of the gifts that God has given to me and one of my gifts is legs that I can use!! That is my determination to keep pushing through. On some days, I feel as light as a feather sailing through the air. I feel like I could run forever and those are the days I am usually thinking of the boys and what we need to accomplish and thinking about their progress reports, etc.
So, let's go back to that question about what do I do for myself? Well, I run and workout. I finally had time to myself starting a year ago to do something for myself and it turned into running! I feel the best that I have in many years. It is a combination that I am able to get sleep now, less stress , I got an amazing schedule and routine going on with the boys, and the heartache and stress that I do have is worked out during prayer and running time.
I PROMISE you that one day I will have a post on here of Trenton and Mommy's first run together. I know that I will cry the whole time......happy tears of course!