Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Grandpa Great

"Bye Grandpa. I will see you next time I am here." I say as I give my Grandpa, my hero, a big hug. I had just stepped in his house, which was once the place I raised my boys at, on my way back to Terre Haute. My grandma was already out in the drive way telling Trenton and Andrew bye.

When the boys and I visit my parents, we are so fortunate to always see my grandparents. They live  in my old house on the family farm right next to my parents house.
My grandparents don't get around very good these days. It is not easy for them to do a lot of moving.

"I want to step out there in the driveway and tell them boys bye." He said all determined to see the boys off. He doesn't normally make it out to the van to tell the boys bye and it's very hard to transition the boys in their house for a quick bye. Therefore, it's normally just my grandma that tells the boys bye when we visit. However, this time Grandpa was determined to walk out to the driveway even though it isn't easy for him to see the boys off and I am so thankful he did.

It is very rare when Trenton looks someone in the eye. When he does it only last for a few short seconds. However on that day Trenton made eye contact and it lasted for the longest that I have ever seen him do with anyone.

As my grandpa approached the side of the van, he reached his delicate hand out. A hand that I love so much. A hand that I never fail to grab and hold when I am around him.
"Bye. Bye. Trenton." Grandpa says reaching for him. In that very moment, Trenton turned his head, looked at Grandpa right in the eyes and held his eyes on Grandpa for a good ten seconds. As his eyes were deadlock with my Grandpa's eyes, Trenton reached out and took his hand in his hand. In that moment, my son and Grandpa held hands and just locked eyes on each for awhile.

I watched as those two held hands and looked at each other. It was the most precious sight I had seen in a long time. It was hard to not cry. It was easy to smile. For approximately a good ten seconds, Trenton looked at Grandpa and I looked at Trenton and saw that beautiful soul! I saw the person locked inside his body. It was not only the most beautiful thing I have witnessed for awhile but it was a most amazing blessing that has been handed down from above.

I do believe that Trenton knows and understands everything that not only I do for him but what others do for him as well. There are several people who have influenced our lives and have went above and beyond to make our life possible and my grandparents are one of them. The connection that Trenton was able to make that day, although only for ten seconds, was the best connection that he has had with anyone else in a long time.
I can't help but think...Was that his way of thanking my grandparents for everything they do for us? Was he simply saying, "bye"? Did his body actually let him make a connection in that particular moment?

I am able to get him to look me in the eye daily but its only for one or two seconds and it's just a look. On this day and in that moment Trenton had a connection. He had life in those eyes! He was able to show that beautiful soul inside him.
I'm not sure when a moment like that will happen again. We never know when Trenton's body is able to let him do certain things such as eye contact. God made Trenton differently than he made me. Trenton doesn't need to look people in the eye. He doesn't need to make connections with people through something as simple as eye contact. As a neurotypical mother, I crave those rare moments from Trenton. I CRAVE THEM DAILY!! 
Each day I wonder, "Will he look me in the eye today?" "Will today be the day that I get to share a connection with our eyes?"
Most days come and go and I don't get it. I don't get that small, little thing that I want so badly....but it's okay! I just look forward to when it will happen again and I am grateful when it does.

It would have been really easy for my Grandfather to pass on the opportunity. After all he is 89 years old, doesn't move very well, and had to walk a good way. However, he pushed himself that day and he was blessed with a moment that very few people get to experience with Trenton. I am so thankful I got to witness such a beautiful sight!

This was the first moment those two locked eyes. Trenton was a little less than one hour old. Who would have thought then what our lives had ahead of us.
Job 12:12 Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?

No comments:

Post a Comment