Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Eyes

Even though things have been good lately, which I bragged about in an earlier post, it still doesn't mean they are great by any means. Trenton still lives with challenges daily and we arrange our life around those challenges.

Every single day I wake up with this little boy. Every single day I take him to his therapy and participate in his community outings. I sit in their IEP meetings. I sit in their therapy meetings. I revolve my life around doing what is best for my boys. I make decisions I don't want to make but I do it because of the challenges Trenton lives with. God gave me this amazing child and I don't think he would ever want me to make  decision on what is best for me instead of what is best for my child.

The sacrifices we make as a family are hard but they are worth it. Being  a single mother of two boys with challenges will always come with sacrifice. Being single makes it that much more difficult plus  living in a town with no family makes it even harder. Yet, God is always providing for us and we are doing great.

What tears at my heart strings the most is when Trenton has days where he walks around crying. It's the type of cry that I know something is wrong but he can't tell me. Yes, he has an AAC device now but we are a long way of using it for that type of communication. The other day his therapist told me that he walked around therapy crying and saying, "eyes". He has done this multiple times for me at home too. 

What is he trying to tell me? Does he have a headache? Is his vision blurry? If his vision is blurry, how could we ever be able to know this because he can't tell us? He isn't able to do a vision test. Many children on the spectrum have eye problems. Is this happening with him? How will I ever be able to know?

So yes, things are getting better but we still have our challenges every single day and always will.

This is just one small example of our daily challenges. It's not just a challenge but it's a very heart-rending challenge. It breaks my heart into a million pieces and I only survive through my love for the Lord.

Romans 5: 3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.


1 comment:

  1. Bless his heart! This is gut wrenching. I can't begin to imagine what it would be like to not be able to communicate your wants and needs to your own mother. He sometimes blinks his eyes a lot too. How to know?....

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