Sunday, October 6, 2013


This weekend has not been a good one for Trenton. I tried to take the boys to Nana and Pops house for the morning so I can clean. Sad to say, cleaning is very hard to do with Trenton in the house. I had really been wanting to get some deep cleaning done for a few months. Just my luck, I picked the wrong Saturday to do it. Trenton did not even last one hour at Nana's house and her house is like home to him. He fussed and cried the entire time he was there.  After one hour, Mommy got called to come help. Needless to say, Trenton came home and the deep cleaning.....well....I got one thing done on my list.

On Sunday, we only lasted through Sunday School at church. At the very beginning of preaching we had to leave. I'm not sure if it was the noise, the lights, or simply just not being able to be around people but we had to leave before the meltdown occurred.

To top it all off, Trenton had a nail fall off today. He has had an infection under one of his nails that made his nail fall off today. When it fell off, the nail bed bled. Another battle was trying to get him to wear a band aid. Remind you, foreign objects on him is an absolute NO! Mommy and Daddy wore band-aids today to try to get him to wear one. He finally did for a short while. Did he like it?? No, but he survived for awhile.

I try to take Trenton outside to play today. Before I know it, he is running full speed down the lane and he doesn't care. He doesn't care if no one is with him. He is not afraid of cars or danger. He doesn't care. Just like when Mommy picks him up at school and drops him off....he doesn't show any emotion. Most kids his age run to their mom that is picking them up from school and greet their mom with a hug. I GET NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know he can't help it but it hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It hurts!!!! I'd rather take 20 knives stabbing me over and over and be in the worst physical pain I have ever felt than to feel what I do daily because of autism.
Something as simple as stepping outside your home with autism is not enjoyable. It is only more stress and heartache. Nothing is pure relaxing. If you really want to know, taking a shower is not even relaxing. I hurry up because I never know when he will wake up and start having a meltdown in his room because he wants to sleep but his body won't let him.  If Mom is not there is UGLY!

The emotional roller coaster of autism is never ending. One father of a boy with autism said thirteen years after his son's diagnosis that he hurts just as much today than he did thirteen years ago when his son was diagnosed. I have a feeling I will be saying the same thing when I am an elderly woman.
Life with autism........................SUCKS and that is putting it nicely! And if I feel this way, HOW IN THE WORLD DOES TRENTON FEEL??????????????

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